All posts by smalltownoptimist

Lizards

FotD: A couple lizards actually have horns around or near their eyes, and when they want to they can squirt blood up to four feet away!

So, today I picked up a lizard. It was small and didn’t have any teeth, so I really was surprised when it bit me. I still have a big red mark on my thumb. (I’m pretty sure that the lizard that bit me is the type in the picture. A five-lined Skink) Anyways, that got me thinking about lizards and stuff.

They’re actually pretty cool. Some lizards have different coping mechanisms to different threats. You know, just like humans. Some run, some fight…Some bite.

So, there are many ways that these small lizards can defend themselves. Such as, squirting blood out of horns, have venom(though very few are actually graced with venom), having teeth(even if they don’t have teeth, trust me it hurts.), sometimes they change color depending on their mood or environment. And of course they can regenerate slightly.

The lizard can actually go through what is called Caudal Anatomy, and what this means is that they can literally amputate their own tail. Their tail is made so that there isn’t much blood loss or trauma to the parts surrounding the tail. This means that when you grab a lizard and its tail falls off, you probably didn’t pull it off and hurt the poor thing. It more than likely done it on purpose to get away from you. Yep, they literally cut off their own tail from their body.

However, after they amputate their tail, they also regenerate. They regenerate by sending leukocytes and making sure there isn’t very much inflammation. By doing this, their tail will regenerate and be fully functional a little more than 60 days. It may seem like a long time, but think about it. How long does it take you to grow hair from being bald to down to you shoulders. Yep, it takes a while and our hair isn’t even a limb. We can’t grow those back.

 

Friends

FotD: Just 1% of friendships formed in the seventh grade are still intact by their 12th grade year.

So, today’s topic is Friends of course.

Not to brag, but I have three close best friends that have been there when I truly needed them. Not just over break ups, my dog dying, or something like that. But they have been there when I really needed them. When I thought I wasn’t going to make it through life, when I thought all hope was lost for everything, and when I thought that there wasn’t anything good that matters. My friends showed me otherwise.

I’m going to call my friends by alias’s. Trouble(The girl who calls me Meanie,,,this comes from a book. Trouble and Meanie), Charles(which happens to be my nickname for her, even though her name doesn’t even sound like Charles), and Becca(To the girl who says “What the Becca” all the time for some unknown reason)

I’m also going to call my former friends by Alias’s too. Let’s call them Bitch 1 and Bitch 2. There is one in the middle, but I’m simply not going to talk to her, since I’m not exactly sure how to feel.

So, me Trouble, Becca, and Bitch 2 have all been friends since the sixth or seventh grade. Actually, me Becca and Bitch 2 all went to the same elementary school, though Becca and I didn’t start talking until sixth grade. Bitch 2 and I though, well we’ve been friends since we could talk. Sure, not close friends, but I still figured I would mention it.

Well, we all became friends with Charles(Gosh love her lol). She’s Trouble’s sister, and was in a grade ahead of us. We were all a happy group. See, we’re all quiet. None of us ever gets in trouble, we don’t fight, argue, put our noses into anything, and most importantly even when we bicker about things we disagree on we respect each other. We bicker for the silliest reasons, but it’s just playing. We’re laughing while we do it.

Enter Bitch 1, courtesy of Bitch 2. She just brought in a bunch of drama, but I didn’t see anything wrong. She was misunderstood. I yelled at her for a friend 9th grade, but I was misunderstanding the situation(I don’t think so). She was bullied by her so called friends(the popular group), they left her, she didn’t have no friends, she was a supposed good girl.

So, I invite her down my house along with the others. We’re having fun. All playing games, doing makeup, playing pool, or making cookies(though I was not trusted around my stove since I can’t cook). Then, she begins yelling. Her crush, a guy she’s fooled around with I guess, won’t tell his girlfriend about them. So she tells the girlfriend. Girlfriend obviously gets mad. Bitch 1 begins posting pathetic stuff on instagram, spinning everything around to make her look innocent. I believe Girlfriend is in the wrong and Bitch 1 is innocent(I may be smart, but I’m dumb when it comes to people).

That was the first time I noticed something was wrong.

Then, we go to Becca’s house the next weekend. We all bring our own money, but we’re a trusting and sharing group. We buy things for each other, we don’t care about chipping in, we get what the other wants if they can’t buy it. Well, Bitch 1 comes. We all go over to the dollar store next to Becca’s house. Charles wants to buy a V8 juice so we decide to buy it. But oh wait, Bitch 1 wants some strawberry frosting and wants Charles to buy it for her. So obviously Charles does. Then, they figure out Charles doesn’t have all that much money. Bitch 1 and Bitch 2 both demand to buy 1’s frosting, and not let Charles have her drink. Mind you it’s her money, but she’s so soft spoken and absolutely good that she puts her V8 down, and buys the frosting. She had tried arguing but they both turned on her, and Becca and I didn’t notice. Trouble had, but Trouble is kind of like her sister except more quieter and nicer.

The next time was when she decided to go tattle to the principal about a group of cheaters in our ap class. Mind you, that she gets her actual boyfriend not crush boyfriend, to do her work for her. Tests? Yeah, she cheats just as much as those guys. Heck, even I cheat. I’m not perfect, but I’m not going to tattle on someone to get them out of the way so I can get ahead of them in class. Yeah, she thought by doing that she’d bring our number 1 down. And sure, I’m jealous of number 1. I’ve worked for more of my grades than she of Bitch 1 has, but if I complained about her cheating then that’s me being hypocritical. I am many things, but a hypocrite I am not.

She turns them in, they get in trouble. She rises to number 2, Number 1 stays at 1, and she gets pissed more. That was what had me doubting everything. This is the part when Trouble and I begin talking. We notice things. Trouble tells me about what happened with Charles, I tell them about the icky feeling I get when I’m around her. Then, we clue in Becca. Becca hasn’t liked her since day 1, but she just thought she was being judgmental, and she didn’t want to be outcasted. We’ve never dealt with any fights within our group, so this was a learning experience for all of us.

Then, it’s the little things that add up. A previous innocent word or look is taken as bad. Tensions are high, everyone knows something is up, but no one knows how to deal with it. Then, things start to snap. Bitch 1 begins to ignore Becca. Bitch 2 follows like a mindless minion.

So, our group starts to dissolve, but it’s all for the better. We separate ourselves from them, they stay away from us. Our group is fine for a while. Then it’s prom night. It’s strained, but fun. Charles, Becca, Trouble, and I hang out with some others and everything’s chill. We get home that night and Becca and I are involved in a group chat. Bitch 2 wants to know what the hell is going on.

Honestly, we should have just said everything from the beginning. Maybe, Becca, Trouble, Charles, and I caused more of it than prevented it. But we tried. We didn’t want conflict, and we tried really really hard to prevent it. Well, I start typing and telling her. Becca and I videochat with the unnamed, but Bitch 2 feels too uncomfortable to video chat and wants to talk about it later. She still doesn’t understand everything so she messages me privately. I start talking to her, trying to explain, when suddenly I get messages from not only my aunt but my uncle too. My aunt is gone from the house. No one knows where she’s at. Except me. But my uncle is kind of like my popaw when he’s drunk. Violent. Do I tell him or don’t I? He’s my actual family. She’s my aunt by marriage. I don’t really talk to either, but blood is thicker than water.

Still, I don’t respond to my uncle, and I tell my aunt to go to my house. That, though I’m not there, it’ll be fine. So I have this on me, I have the fact looming around my head that my parents are turning more like my grandparents everyday. Controlling over one another, fighting everyday, and plain out scary. It’s not normal, and it’s stressing me. The person who never gets stressed. So, I tell Bitch 2 that I can’t do this right now. That I have more on my plate than just some petty drama that shouldn’t exist. I’m stressed to the max and I’m sick that whole night.

Then, there’s school two days later. I haven’t spoken to anybody and I’m still trying to deal with everything. I have a hard time coping with anger and stress simply because I never feel it. I don’t understand it, so I can’t deal. Everything is going fine. Becca told me everything is sorted out with Bitch 2. She meant for her and Trouble and I knew that. I also know that I’m going to have to deal with Bitch 2 eventually.

I expected things to be taken care of privately and not cause a scene. It’s how everything has always been dealt with. Our business is our business not anyone else’s. But things change, and now I’m getting to the point in my story for the reason why I’m writing everything on here.(It’s actually releasing some of my anger too.)

Bitch 2 decides to yell at us in front of everyone at lunch. It goes down pretty much like this.

Becca is on my left. Trouble is one my right. Four other friends are in front of us. Bitch 2 comes over and sits down her plate. All is pleasant and then she points to Becca and I.(Things were sorted between Becca and Her at this point so I kind of think it was just me, but Becca says it was her also, and the way Bitch 2 phrased everything.) Bitch 2 is still standing, and I grin at her hesitantly. I’m not sure how to act, because not everything is hashed out between us, but I know how her nerves are, so I know I shouldn’t make her feel bad. And I don’t because she’s been my friend for years and I love her to death.

She points a finger in the direction of Becca and me. “I need to talk to you two.” I sit my water down, readying myself to get up and go to the bathroom or the bandroom. Her dwelling. Anywhere, but in front of everyone who doesn’t need to know my business. “Blah Blah Blah. Ya Ya Ya.”

I was angry, so I can’t even remember what she nor I said. All that I remember is that she started cornering us, and I am not one to be cowed. Remember my stress levels and everything. So I have heard that I did have a mean attitude and I was rude when I responded, but I told her in simple terms that she was going to wait and I would speak with her. That I was not about to do this now, because I couldn’t deal with it. I expected to be returned with the same respect I gave her when she said she didn’t want to videochat then. 

I WAS NOT GIVEN THAT.

Bitch 2 kept going on. She began saying that if we wanted to point fingers then she could too. Trust me, I know she could. I’m no saint. But I don’t do anything without a purpose. I joke, I get annoying, I push(literally and figuratively) my friends a little harder than I should. But I love them and I do it because I’m either trying to cheer them up, or help them reach something. Hell, I even fake confidence because they need to know if the ugliest one has confidence, then so can they. They are beautiful amazing people. I’m annoying because I care.

I wouldn’t have really cared about anything Bitch 2 said. It wouldn’t have made her lose a friend, and I would have cut her off as quick as I did. But she did not give me the respect I gave in turn. Treat others how you wish to be treated. It’s my motto. I respect. I love. I trust. Because those are all qualities I want to be given back as well. Maybe I’m selfish for wanting something in return for how I act, but that’s me. 

I’m not honest, but I’m trusting. I’m insensitive, but I still love. I don’t understand everything, but I respect it. I am a callous, insensitive, manipulative person. Sure, I’m fake. There are various sides of me. The side I show to people I don’t like. The side I show to my family. The side I show to my friends. And the side I show to people I don’t know. Maybe it’s the Gemini in me.

So, when she kept going after I told her not to, it got to me. Becca snapped at her. Bitch 2 left to go to the bandroom with Bitch 1. Two of our friends followed. Two stayed. When Bitch 2 left, Becca stabbed through her plate and couldn’t eat. She was angry. I wasn’t. I was about to cry. Everything was getting to be too much all at once. Like I said I don’t deal with. I got up and threw my food away. I ignored Bitch 1’s rant after I spoke my piece, but I knew she was speaking. It hurt me. It really did. I hope that made her happy. She lost me that exact moment. 

A couple days passed, and I calmed myself down. I was absorbed in video games, and I didn’t do much else. Then, I was ready to face everything. I was ready to take it head on and deal with the consequences. My mom had kicked my dad out so there was no more fighting. My aunt was back with my uncle. Mom had a job. I was in the most secure spot, I’d ever been in. Everything  was predictable. So, it was time for me to throw a little unpredicatability in there.

I walked into class late, and went straight up to Bitch 2. Bitch 1, Becca, and Trouble was all there. Actually, they were the only ones there seeing as our class wasn’t very big. Still, I took Bitch 2 aside, and I pointed at her. Yes, I do have point at people I no longer care for, and she knows it. I wanted her to know that I was pissed, but I was giving her a chance to make up for it. I value years of friendship more than one tiny fight. I told her in no uncertain terms that I would speak with her, but when I spoke with her I would do it privately and nobody not even Becca or Bitch 1 would be there. No chance for her to try and gang up on me, and no doubt to her that I would gang up on her. 

After that, she didn’t say anything. She simply handed me my manuscript back, and that was that. She didn’t even want to talk about it anymore. She wanted others to see, she didn’t want it to be private.

I’m giving her what she wanted, I’m making this public. I’m not giving names, but she wanted others to know, so I’ll help with that. Also, this has helped me a whole lot. My mind feels clear.

Though, my story isn’t quite finished yet. Bitch 1 wanted to keep egging things on. See, I have her on everything. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat. So I see what she posts. She done to me just as she done with the girlfriend of her crush. It started on instagram. She posted about me having two faces. Then she posted about me again saying if the shoe fits. Guess Bitch 2 saw my group message on facebook about it and told Bitch 1.(I left that group chat when I figured it out). So, Bitch 1 wanted to post about me on Instagram, so I unfollowed her. I would not sink to her level of petty, but I did not want that to infiltrate my life again.

I didn’t delete her on anything else, because she didn’t post on anything else. Then, a while later she posted on facebook. Talking about jealousy and incompetence. There, she could have been talking about anyone not just me. I know that. Still, I blocked her on there. There’s no room for negativity in my life. No reason to keep her there. Then she posted on snapchat about petty people. She posted that one right after I blocked her on facebook. I blocked her there too. Sorry, there’s my petty streak honey.

I know she could still be posting about me, even though I’ve blocked her. But I don’t care, because I’m not seeing it and letting it infect my life. I’ve accepted that fact. But if she is still posting about me, then she has some problems. I should be an unimportant person in her life, not one that she constantly has on hers. Gosh knows, the only reason I’m writing this is to make myself feel better and to make it clear to my mind. She is no longer on my mind aside from this story.

The one that is is the one who betrayed me the most. The one I have known since 1st grade year. She betrayed me. I betrayed her. But I still expected better. Maybe I should have done better too. Friendship works with equal effort on both parties. I didn’t put in my effort, so neither did she. After writing this, I have decided that I’m done with everything.

I’m pushing that negativity out of my life and trying to make it more positive. I’ve been really down lately, but maybe I’ll become more like me. Perfectly happy and content with life. I’ve never let anything bog me down before, so I’m trying to think brighter.

I found two friends that will stick by me even when there are things testing that friendship. They have withstood everything for me, helped me through it, and let me cry. Yes, I cried, sadly.  Charles, even though she didn’t hold the same loyalty toward Bitch 1 and 2 as she did with me, I still know she’s a true friend. Becca, Trouble, and Charles. Those are my friends. They’re the stars in my life. The ones that might eventually go away, but the ones I’ll never forget.

Thank you, Becca. For being amazingly loyal, headstrong, and loud. You have helped me understand how friends act and shouldn’t act. You knock me right when I’m wrong. You have helped me in so many ways that you probably didn’t know about. You are my closet best friend that I have, and I’m proud to say that you are. When you go out of state next month, just remember to hook me up with some of the cuties down there.

Thank you, Trouble. You have taught me that I shouldn’t just think about myself. That I should also be like you and think like others. You always seem to understand everything going on, and you’re always ready with a shoulder to cry on and comforting words. You are the most sensiblest person I know. You are my Trouble! And I may be a Meanie lol. And no worries I won’t let you forget about me while I’m at my college and you’re at yours. I’ll come knocking on your door. It’s only an hour away!

Thank you, Charles. You’re so goofy and funny and you always see the brightness in everyone. You probably know how to brighten everyone up more so than I do. You Charles, and I guess I’m Alec, though I would prefer my other nickname compared to that one. Still, I know I’ve got you. You’re at college and we never see each other, but still you’re there when I need you and you never let me forget that you know how to use that video button!

My moral of my story: Don’t ignore and run from the negativity. If you face it head on, you will be better off. You’ll get it away faster, and you’ll figure things out more quickly and to the point. Don’t be like me and ignore it. Because all it lead was to more drama than I knew how to deal with.

 

 

Outlast!

No fact of the day, but I do have big news! For the longest time I have been wanting to play Outlast, because I’ve been watching the gameplay of it, which happens to be amazing! Well, I finally broke and bought it with my graduation money!

Of course, I’ve played it since the time I woke up at like 2 or 2:30. Let me just tell you! That game is freaking awesome! I’m not the type of girl that gets really involved in games! The most I play is like the Last of Us Remastered and Call of Duty Ghosts…I would play Overwatch, but sadly my brother won’t let me “mess it up”. Anyways! I’m really big into the whole horror, scare the crap out of people type of games.

Outlast is SCARY! I’m only onto the part where I’m in the security room and hiding in a locker so the big guy that could crush my guy won’t. Really, though, there isn’t all that action which I don’t like. If I’m playing a game I want to fight and die that way, not die while running. Particularly because I run into everything. You aren’t able to fight in the game, that I’ve seen thus far, and the only thing you’re really able to do is hide, run, and videotape weird people watching a static tv. Still, I thrive on scary things! The fact that the music is creepy and their are a couple times with huge jumpscares is awesome! My heart stops for a moment, and then I feel like I have to call somebody so I won’t be alone while playing this game!

All in all, I’m in love with the game. This is a short post, but I want to get back to playing it!

Three Words

FotD: Falling in love has neurological effects similar to cocaine.

So, I’m really traditional in a lot of ways. For instance love. I love everything. I do not love everyone. I don’t not believe in saying the words love to anyone who I just like or, for instance, a boyfriend of not even ONE HOUR!

Saying I love you, to me, is something that shouldn’t be said until you’re fully sure you’re ready to commit a relationship with that person. Saying I love you to family, children, or even close friends is fine to me. Trust me, I have friends that I absolutely love and adore, just as I have family that I love and adore. Their relationships in my life is cemented. I know it and they know it.

Buuuuut, first thing you need to know about me is that I’m not overly affectionate…or affectionate at all. I don’t do love, affection, or clingy. I may be optimistic but I know how love is. And affection. And the clingyness of a boyfriend. I do not like that. Sure, if we’ve been dating for a while I don’t care if we’re affectionate and snuggling and lovey. But I have to actually love him.

However, if we’ve only been dating for say one hour(even if I’ve know him for a while longer than that) I DO NOT want him to ask 20 different variations of where I am or “hello can I call you”. Sorry, but if you’re going to act like that to me if we’ve only been dating for a little while then I’m going to cut you off cold turkey. No more me for you. Another thing that just irks me is when I say goodbye and you tell me three times that you love me. HELL NO!

We were only dating for a little bit, despite me knowing him for a couple months, when he said the big three words. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. Love is important. Only say it when you mean it and when you’re ready to commit to something, that’s my opinion at least. Love is cement and it should not be treated like sand. So easily picked up and brushed off. If I love someone I might tell them once every year(like I said I’m not a very affectionate person). If I don’t, you can guarantee we’re breaking up and I’m probably going to be so disgusted with you that I’m not going to talk to you. I may be overreacting, but love is extremely important to me. It’s not something I can take lightly. It’s all or nothing for me.

So, to the boy who just ruined any chance he had with me in the future, I hope you’re happy. You pushed and pushed and pushed, and when I finally gave in you blew it. You knew me well enough to know I don’t roll like that, except you thought you were the exception. Guess what, you’re not. And we’re done. End of story…

My rant is done. And now I feel slightly less flustered.

Book Review Time!

THE Ghost Bird Series!

So, this will be the first book I review. Can I just say it’s an ongoing series with 10 almost 11 books! And the brilliant author of this book is thankfully planning many more books to come! I just cannot get enough of her writing!

C.L Stone is the author. She can write detail in a way that it doesn’t bore me. She can write dialogue between not just one or two main characters but ten main characters! That’s not even including all of the minor characters that pop up throughout the book! Her ability to keep personalities consistent and yet still she has something new to give the readers in the books is such an incredible feat and I applaud her!

Now, I’m going to talk about the series itself. It begins with Introductions. The main character, Sang Sorenson, is about to escape her hellish home for just one night. She’s sheltered and she doesn’t know anyone on the street that she recently moved on. She’s always been told that when she goes outside she’ll get kidnapped or raped.

You can imagine poor Sang’s terror when she hears something coming from behind her. A dog suddenly jumps on her, leading her to meet his owner. Kota. Smart, handsome, and oh so helpful. He decides to take her in and help her despite everything. It sets off a chain of events that no one would ever suspect. She meets all seven boys that seem oh so close. They’re brothers. But they have secrets and she knows it. She doesn’t want to scare away her newfound friends, but she also has trouble being with them because of her punishing mother. It’s no surprise that when she meets these guys, her life is bound to change for forever.

Sang- Timid, loyal, compassionate

Max- The intelligent dog that runs her over!

Kota- Smart, authoritative

Victor- Determined, musically inclined

Silas- Quiet, comforting

Nathan- Athletic, boy next door

Gabriel- Creative, Playful

Luke- Sneaky, Daydreamer

North- Dark, Protective

Dr. Green- Flirty, My ideal type

Mr. Blackbourne- Perfect, stern

Edimmu

FotD: The Mesopotamian Edimmu dating back to almost 6,000 years ago is the world’s first vampire!

So, do you believe in vampires or do you believe their fake? Personally, I believe they were all just made up by some crazy Mesopotamian that found a mushroom they weren’t supposed to eat. The Mesopotamian’s actually said that their “Edimmu” was the result of an improper burial(which is why they took care of their dead) or a very violent death. I guess now-a-days one of these Edimmu’s drinking your blood enough to kill you counts as a violent death. The Edimmu was not only the first creature that drank blood, but it was also the first Physic Vampire. While they aren’t burned by the sunlight, they do avoid it, and they seem to be located in dark places.

Since then, Edimmu has evolved to the glittering, love-sick, boorish vampires we see in Twilight. Let me tell you, if vampires did exist they would not be like this and here’s why.

Vampires are all known as living forever and drinking blood. The living forever part I can kind of see being true if some brilliant scientist happened to figure out how to keep our Telomeres(A strand in DNA that is related to aging) would never get shorter when cells divide. However, this would only mean that we do not look older nor will we be able to have cell death, cancer, or a chromosome malfunction. Still, we would die if someone cut an artery or something.

The other part about drinking blood is already true. There is a personality disorder called Renfield’s Syndrome, which is also called Clinical Vampirism. Surprisingly, most of the people with the symptoms are men. It’s said that this syndrome starts before or during puberty. That’s when they begin having sexual fantasies about ingesting blood.
When they finally do ingest blood they begin with their own, but then they lead up to drinking other’s blood.

So, I guess in certain cases you can call someone a vampire. A delusion, psycho vampire, but still a vampire.

But maybe one day these delusional vampires will be a scientist and will activate Telomerase(which makes the telomeres keep going), and then they will truly be a real vampire. Too bad, they probably won’t have the super strength or mind reading powers, because otherwise I’d totally sign up to be a vampire. I’d just, you know, starve to death.

Just a Thought

So, as you’ll find out, I’m going to start off every post with my Fact of the Day (FotD). Here it is!

FotD: Coyotes “sing” to communicate with other families and so they can keep track of their own family.

This will be about coyotes! Recently, I was inspired by a certain coyote that lingers outside of my room. He howls and growls when he’s close to my house, but when he’s over the river the pitch changes frequency. Thinking about it, it kind of sounds like a tiny baby with a really deep voice singing. Now, I realize that he’s other talking to other coyote families or he’s talking to his own.

Do you know much about coyotes?

Coyotes are also called the American Jackal because they can be found all over North America. They might even be in your backyard like they are in mine. They also walk on their toes! Weird, right? I presume it’s because they’re always trying to sneak up on the next unsuspecting prey rather than some other reason than the fact that they are just digitigrades(which just simply means that they are a species that walks on their toes).

Coyotes use the buddy system just like children are taught to use nowadays. They’re also smart. When attacking prey, one coyote will distract the poor, unsuspecting animal, while the other coyote will attack it from behind. Vicious? Or just crazy smart and trying to survive? I like to believe the latter as I don’t believe anything that is instinctual is vicious. Robots, yes. Coyotes, no.

Coyotes, in fact, do not go looking for trouble they’re just curious about our world. Wouldn’t you be if you spent most of your days in the woods with no internet? I’m pretty sure I’d feel so disconnected from the world that I wouldn’t know what to do with myself! Coyotes are terribly timid and will usually run away when approached. They’re scared of us and our society more than anything. Still, they are animals. Animals rely on their instincts. Do not try to approach a coyote and do not turn your back on it. Simply make loud noises, make yourself look larger than you are, and if you have it, throw water at them. For some reason, I’m finding throwing water at them scares them, but it seems more provoking than terrifying so personally I wouldn’t do that.

So, this is coyotes! Now you know a little about them if you didn’t, and if you did then you might know a little more than me so go ahead and comment if you have anything more to add about coyotes!

I’ll be updating whenever I get another thought, so it probably won’t take more than a week!