Friends

FotD: Just 1% of friendships formed in the seventh grade are still intact by their 12th grade year.

So, today’s topic is Friends of course.

Not to brag, but I have three close best friends that have been there when I truly needed them. Not just over break ups, my dog dying, or something like that. But they have been there when I really needed them. When I thought I wasn’t going to make it through life, when I thought all hope was lost for everything, and when I thought that there wasn’t anything good that matters. My friends showed me otherwise.

I’m going to call my friends by alias’s. Trouble(The girl who calls me Meanie,,,this comes from a book. Trouble and Meanie), Charles(which happens to be my nickname for her, even though her name doesn’t even sound like Charles), and Becca(To the girl who says “What the Becca” all the time for some unknown reason)

I’m also going to call my former friends by Alias’s too. Let’s call them Bitch 1 and Bitch 2. There is one in the middle, but I’m simply not going to talk to her, since I’m not exactly sure how to feel.

So, me Trouble, Becca, and Bitch 2 have all been friends since the sixth or seventh grade. Actually, me Becca and Bitch 2 all went to the same elementary school, though Becca and I didn’t start talking until sixth grade. Bitch 2 and I though, well we’ve been friends since we could talk. Sure, not close friends, but I still figured I would mention it.

Well, we all became friends with Charles(Gosh love her lol). She’s Trouble’s sister, and was in a grade ahead of us. We were all a happy group. See, we’re all quiet. None of us ever gets in trouble, we don’t fight, argue, put our noses into anything, and most importantly even when we bicker about things we disagree on we respect each other. We bicker for the silliest reasons, but it’s just playing. We’re laughing while we do it.

Enter Bitch 1, courtesy of Bitch 2. She just brought in a bunch of drama, but I didn’t see anything wrong. She was misunderstood. I yelled at her for a friend 9th grade, but I was misunderstanding the situation(I don’t think so). She was bullied by her so called friends(the popular group), they left her, she didn’t have no friends, she was a supposed good girl.

So, I invite her down my house along with the others. We’re having fun. All playing games, doing makeup, playing pool, or making cookies(though I was not trusted around my stove since I can’t cook). Then, she begins yelling. Her crush, a guy she’s fooled around with I guess, won’t tell his girlfriend about them. So she tells the girlfriend. Girlfriend obviously gets mad. Bitch 1 begins posting pathetic stuff on instagram, spinning everything around to make her look innocent. I believe Girlfriend is in the wrong and Bitch 1 is innocent(I may be smart, but I’m dumb when it comes to people).

That was the first time I noticed something was wrong.

Then, we go to Becca’s house the next weekend. We all bring our own money, but we’re a trusting and sharing group. We buy things for each other, we don’t care about chipping in, we get what the other wants if they can’t buy it. Well, Bitch 1 comes. We all go over to the dollar store next to Becca’s house. Charles wants to buy a V8 juice so we decide to buy it. But oh wait, Bitch 1 wants some strawberry frosting and wants Charles to buy it for her. So obviously Charles does. Then, they figure out Charles doesn’t have all that much money. Bitch 1 and Bitch 2 both demand to buy 1’s frosting, and not let Charles have her drink. Mind you it’s her money, but she’s so soft spoken and absolutely good that she puts her V8 down, and buys the frosting. She had tried arguing but they both turned on her, and Becca and I didn’t notice. Trouble had, but Trouble is kind of like her sister except more quieter and nicer.

The next time was when she decided to go tattle to the principal about a group of cheaters in our ap class. Mind you, that she gets her actual boyfriend not crush boyfriend, to do her work for her. Tests? Yeah, she cheats just as much as those guys. Heck, even I cheat. I’m not perfect, but I’m not going to tattle on someone to get them out of the way so I can get ahead of them in class. Yeah, she thought by doing that she’d bring our number 1 down. And sure, I’m jealous of number 1. I’ve worked for more of my grades than she of Bitch 1 has, but if I complained about her cheating then that’s me being hypocritical. I am many things, but a hypocrite I am not.

She turns them in, they get in trouble. She rises to number 2, Number 1 stays at 1, and she gets pissed more. That was what had me doubting everything. This is the part when Trouble and I begin talking. We notice things. Trouble tells me about what happened with Charles, I tell them about the icky feeling I get when I’m around her. Then, we clue in Becca. Becca hasn’t liked her since day 1, but she just thought she was being judgmental, and she didn’t want to be outcasted. We’ve never dealt with any fights within our group, so this was a learning experience for all of us.

Then, it’s the little things that add up. A previous innocent word or look is taken as bad. Tensions are high, everyone knows something is up, but no one knows how to deal with it. Then, things start to snap. Bitch 1 begins to ignore Becca. Bitch 2 follows like a mindless minion.

So, our group starts to dissolve, but it’s all for the better. We separate ourselves from them, they stay away from us. Our group is fine for a while. Then it’s prom night. It’s strained, but fun. Charles, Becca, Trouble, and I hang out with some others and everything’s chill. We get home that night and Becca and I are involved in a group chat. Bitch 2 wants to know what the hell is going on.

Honestly, we should have just said everything from the beginning. Maybe, Becca, Trouble, Charles, and I caused more of it than prevented it. But we tried. We didn’t want conflict, and we tried really really hard to prevent it. Well, I start typing and telling her. Becca and I videochat with the unnamed, but Bitch 2 feels too uncomfortable to video chat and wants to talk about it later. She still doesn’t understand everything so she messages me privately. I start talking to her, trying to explain, when suddenly I get messages from not only my aunt but my uncle too. My aunt is gone from the house. No one knows where she’s at. Except me. But my uncle is kind of like my popaw when he’s drunk. Violent. Do I tell him or don’t I? He’s my actual family. She’s my aunt by marriage. I don’t really talk to either, but blood is thicker than water.

Still, I don’t respond to my uncle, and I tell my aunt to go to my house. That, though I’m not there, it’ll be fine. So I have this on me, I have the fact looming around my head that my parents are turning more like my grandparents everyday. Controlling over one another, fighting everyday, and plain out scary. It’s not normal, and it’s stressing me. The person who never gets stressed. So, I tell Bitch 2 that I can’t do this right now. That I have more on my plate than just some petty drama that shouldn’t exist. I’m stressed to the max and I’m sick that whole night.

Then, there’s school two days later. I haven’t spoken to anybody and I’m still trying to deal with everything. I have a hard time coping with anger and stress simply because I never feel it. I don’t understand it, so I can’t deal. Everything is going fine. Becca told me everything is sorted out with Bitch 2. She meant for her and Trouble and I knew that. I also know that I’m going to have to deal with Bitch 2 eventually.

I expected things to be taken care of privately and not cause a scene. It’s how everything has always been dealt with. Our business is our business not anyone else’s. But things change, and now I’m getting to the point in my story for the reason why I’m writing everything on here.(It’s actually releasing some of my anger too.)

Bitch 2 decides to yell at us in front of everyone at lunch. It goes down pretty much like this.

Becca is on my left. Trouble is one my right. Four other friends are in front of us. Bitch 2 comes over and sits down her plate. All is pleasant and then she points to Becca and I.(Things were sorted between Becca and Her at this point so I kind of think it was just me, but Becca says it was her also, and the way Bitch 2 phrased everything.) Bitch 2 is still standing, and I grin at her hesitantly. I’m not sure how to act, because not everything is hashed out between us, but I know how her nerves are, so I know I shouldn’t make her feel bad. And I don’t because she’s been my friend for years and I love her to death.

She points a finger in the direction of Becca and me. “I need to talk to you two.” I sit my water down, readying myself to get up and go to the bathroom or the bandroom. Her dwelling. Anywhere, but in front of everyone who doesn’t need to know my business. “Blah Blah Blah. Ya Ya Ya.”

I was angry, so I can’t even remember what she nor I said. All that I remember is that she started cornering us, and I am not one to be cowed. Remember my stress levels and everything. So I have heard that I did have a mean attitude and I was rude when I responded, but I told her in simple terms that she was going to wait and I would speak with her. That I was not about to do this now, because I couldn’t deal with it. I expected to be returned with the same respect I gave her when she said she didn’t want to videochat then. 

I WAS NOT GIVEN THAT.

Bitch 2 kept going on. She began saying that if we wanted to point fingers then she could too. Trust me, I know she could. I’m no saint. But I don’t do anything without a purpose. I joke, I get annoying, I push(literally and figuratively) my friends a little harder than I should. But I love them and I do it because I’m either trying to cheer them up, or help them reach something. Hell, I even fake confidence because they need to know if the ugliest one has confidence, then so can they. They are beautiful amazing people. I’m annoying because I care.

I wouldn’t have really cared about anything Bitch 2 said. It wouldn’t have made her lose a friend, and I would have cut her off as quick as I did. But she did not give me the respect I gave in turn. Treat others how you wish to be treated. It’s my motto. I respect. I love. I trust. Because those are all qualities I want to be given back as well. Maybe I’m selfish for wanting something in return for how I act, but that’s me. 

I’m not honest, but I’m trusting. I’m insensitive, but I still love. I don’t understand everything, but I respect it. I am a callous, insensitive, manipulative person. Sure, I’m fake. There are various sides of me. The side I show to people I don’t like. The side I show to my family. The side I show to my friends. And the side I show to people I don’t know. Maybe it’s the Gemini in me.

So, when she kept going after I told her not to, it got to me. Becca snapped at her. Bitch 2 left to go to the bandroom with Bitch 1. Two of our friends followed. Two stayed. When Bitch 2 left, Becca stabbed through her plate and couldn’t eat. She was angry. I wasn’t. I was about to cry. Everything was getting to be too much all at once. Like I said I don’t deal with. I got up and threw my food away. I ignored Bitch 1’s rant after I spoke my piece, but I knew she was speaking. It hurt me. It really did. I hope that made her happy. She lost me that exact moment. 

A couple days passed, and I calmed myself down. I was absorbed in video games, and I didn’t do much else. Then, I was ready to face everything. I was ready to take it head on and deal with the consequences. My mom had kicked my dad out so there was no more fighting. My aunt was back with my uncle. Mom had a job. I was in the most secure spot, I’d ever been in. Everything  was predictable. So, it was time for me to throw a little unpredicatability in there.

I walked into class late, and went straight up to Bitch 2. Bitch 1, Becca, and Trouble was all there. Actually, they were the only ones there seeing as our class wasn’t very big. Still, I took Bitch 2 aside, and I pointed at her. Yes, I do have point at people I no longer care for, and she knows it. I wanted her to know that I was pissed, but I was giving her a chance to make up for it. I value years of friendship more than one tiny fight. I told her in no uncertain terms that I would speak with her, but when I spoke with her I would do it privately and nobody not even Becca or Bitch 1 would be there. No chance for her to try and gang up on me, and no doubt to her that I would gang up on her. 

After that, she didn’t say anything. She simply handed me my manuscript back, and that was that. She didn’t even want to talk about it anymore. She wanted others to see, she didn’t want it to be private.

I’m giving her what she wanted, I’m making this public. I’m not giving names, but she wanted others to know, so I’ll help with that. Also, this has helped me a whole lot. My mind feels clear.

Though, my story isn’t quite finished yet. Bitch 1 wanted to keep egging things on. See, I have her on everything. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat. So I see what she posts. She done to me just as she done with the girlfriend of her crush. It started on instagram. She posted about me having two faces. Then she posted about me again saying if the shoe fits. Guess Bitch 2 saw my group message on facebook about it and told Bitch 1.(I left that group chat when I figured it out). So, Bitch 1 wanted to post about me on Instagram, so I unfollowed her. I would not sink to her level of petty, but I did not want that to infiltrate my life again.

I didn’t delete her on anything else, because she didn’t post on anything else. Then, a while later she posted on facebook. Talking about jealousy and incompetence. There, she could have been talking about anyone not just me. I know that. Still, I blocked her on there. There’s no room for negativity in my life. No reason to keep her there. Then she posted on snapchat about petty people. She posted that one right after I blocked her on facebook. I blocked her there too. Sorry, there’s my petty streak honey.

I know she could still be posting about me, even though I’ve blocked her. But I don’t care, because I’m not seeing it and letting it infect my life. I’ve accepted that fact. But if she is still posting about me, then she has some problems. I should be an unimportant person in her life, not one that she constantly has on hers. Gosh knows, the only reason I’m writing this is to make myself feel better and to make it clear to my mind. She is no longer on my mind aside from this story.

The one that is is the one who betrayed me the most. The one I have known since 1st grade year. She betrayed me. I betrayed her. But I still expected better. Maybe I should have done better too. Friendship works with equal effort on both parties. I didn’t put in my effort, so neither did she. After writing this, I have decided that I’m done with everything.

I’m pushing that negativity out of my life and trying to make it more positive. I’ve been really down lately, but maybe I’ll become more like me. Perfectly happy and content with life. I’ve never let anything bog me down before, so I’m trying to think brighter.

I found two friends that will stick by me even when there are things testing that friendship. They have withstood everything for me, helped me through it, and let me cry. Yes, I cried, sadly.  Charles, even though she didn’t hold the same loyalty toward Bitch 1 and 2 as she did with me, I still know she’s a true friend. Becca, Trouble, and Charles. Those are my friends. They’re the stars in my life. The ones that might eventually go away, but the ones I’ll never forget.

Thank you, Becca. For being amazingly loyal, headstrong, and loud. You have helped me understand how friends act and shouldn’t act. You knock me right when I’m wrong. You have helped me in so many ways that you probably didn’t know about. You are my closet best friend that I have, and I’m proud to say that you are. When you go out of state next month, just remember to hook me up with some of the cuties down there.

Thank you, Trouble. You have taught me that I shouldn’t just think about myself. That I should also be like you and think like others. You always seem to understand everything going on, and you’re always ready with a shoulder to cry on and comforting words. You are the most sensiblest person I know. You are my Trouble! And I may be a Meanie lol. And no worries I won’t let you forget about me while I’m at my college and you’re at yours. I’ll come knocking on your door. It’s only an hour away!

Thank you, Charles. You’re so goofy and funny and you always see the brightness in everyone. You probably know how to brighten everyone up more so than I do. You Charles, and I guess I’m Alec, though I would prefer my other nickname compared to that one. Still, I know I’ve got you. You’re at college and we never see each other, but still you’re there when I need you and you never let me forget that you know how to use that video button!

My moral of my story: Don’t ignore and run from the negativity. If you face it head on, you will be better off. You’ll get it away faster, and you’ll figure things out more quickly and to the point. Don’t be like me and ignore it. Because all it lead was to more drama than I knew how to deal with.

 

 

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